How many dogs and cats does it take to change a light bulb?

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or 'We don't need no stinking light bulb.'

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: 'How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?'

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

Does your dog gobble food?

When we first adopted our dog Rosie, I was concerned about the health affects from her gobbling her food, so I did some research on the subject to see if I could help slow her eating.

Food gobbling by a dog can cause choking, as well as digestive upsets and obstructions. It's common in short-snouted dogs such as pugs and bulldogs. This behavior is also common in dogs who have stayed in a kennel, or if there is more than one pet in the household and they're fed at the same time, as it causes a sense of competition. It's a natural reaction from their days as wolves when they didn't know when they would get their next meal, and eating fast was necessary for their survival. It's very common for a dog that was forced to wander the streets to feel he never has enough food. Even well fed dogs will steal food or raid garbage cans as they are natural scavengers of food left from other predators, and there's no such thing as too much food to a dog.

Obedience training can be very helpful for this behavior. You can also help by not reinforcing the bad behavior. If your dog begs when you're eating, don't give him any food from the table. Food stealing can be stopped by putting groceries away promptly, clearing the table immediately after eating, securing the dog in another room while eating, along with securing trash can lids tightly.

Many dog owners have had success with spreading the food out on the floor or on a cookie sheet, as it forces the dog to slow down and eat each piece individually. Another idea is to spread the food on the grass outside, as it stimulates them mentally and fulfils their hunting instinct. Yet another suggestion is to place a large rubber ball or Kong toy in the dish before adding the food, as the dog must slow down to eat around the object.

Treats are another area of concern for a gobbling dog. If your dog grabs his treats, try saying "easy", and hold it securely. You can also growl at him like his mother would do until he settles down and takes it nicely. For chewing, rawhide isn't a good idea as the dog can break off large sections and swallow them whole. You can try a chicken or beef flavored nylon bone, as they don't break off as easily, but the dog can possibly still gnaw off and swallow some chucks. Pig ears or bully sticks seem to be the best choice, as the taste is appealing to dogs, they are the right size to avoid the dog swallowing it whole, and they hold up to even the strongest pair of jaws, providing hours of chewing enjoyment.

The Friday Funny - Dog Matcher.com

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